The Morning After Always
by FireflyFanatic3x
Summary: Just a short 1-shot 1500 words . What I picture the morning after 4x23 being like. I'd love s5 to open like this - Castle and Beckett in bed, waking up slowly, thinking about what happened before etc. Rated T for implied sex/nudity and near-deaths ie they're naked in bed and Beckett remembers almost falling to her death :P lol . PLEASE review.


**A/N – This is a little something like how I imagine the morning after 4x23 going. I really hope s5 opens with them in bed together…**

**(No, they're not spelling mistakes, it's how you spell it in English!)**

**I hope you like it, please review! ;)**

_**The Morning After Always**_

Beckett lay there, her naked skin gently touching Castle's under the covers, as she began to move, slowly waking up. She made a small noise, a quiet, soft morning groan and she pulled herself from the deep unconsciousness. She hadn't slept this well in … well, she couldn't remember how long it had been.

It was a pleasant waking; she slowly began to move around, her other senses awakening before her eyes opened, letting her explore and familiarise with her surroundings. She was lying close to something soft – skin, smooth and warm. She could smell him too, the scent she knew all too well, but had never been this close to; the scent of Richard Castle. His scent wasn't enchanting, but it smelled of him, it smelled of home and love and longing, and were she properly awake, she would have smiled to find herself nuzzling into that smell, as deep as she could go, breathing him in.

She couldn't hear much; the general noises of a little movement in the adjacent rooms and the area downstairs, but little else, and in a way, she could still taste him inside her mouth, imagining the feel of his tongue exploring hers, as it had last night.

When she finally began to open her eyes, squinting for a moment against the light that was now flooding in from a gap in the curtains, she took a second to simply rest in the moment. Then she looked over and saw him. It wasn't a surprise; she didn't have to leap up and rack her brains as to why she was lying naked beside her partner. Though perhaps unconsciously, she'd been expectant. She was in bed with Castle – they'd finally got together. It was a pleasant and fulfilling feeling; to sit there, knowing she had satisfied her longing for him. And yet they both knew it was just the beginning. They didn't just want to have sex. They wanted to be with each other, forever, to watch out for each other and love one another until kingdom come. Love does that sometimes – makes you want and do crazy things … like quit your job.

For a second Kate's mind flicked back to the events of the previous day, but it only lasted a moment, as she pushed it from her mind, utterly content with the moment she had right here, right now. Just as well, as Castle too began to stir.

His eyes too flickered open, momentarily squinting against the sun that poured through the window and onto the bed where they both lay. She reached her arm across, running her hand along his chest, until it found a resting place around the centre. He turned to look at her, his eyes resting on the most beautiful face he'd ever seen.

He smiled. "Good morning," he croaked, the hours of sleep taking it's toll on his vocal chords. He cleared his throat, paused for a moment, then continued, the edges of his mouth still curled as he gazed down at her. "Kate." he finished simply.

It was a way of completing the sentence, but he just wanted to say her name, to make sure it was real. Last night she had come to him, she had turned up on his doorstep, soaking wet and demanding nothing but him. What had ensued as a result was a night he would never forget. She wasn't outrageously adventurous, or enticing or playful; but she was what he wanted. And for that reason alone, it was perhaps the best night of his life. For once, sleeping with a woman wasn't just satisfying a physical need, it was fulfilling a desire, something he'd longed for deep in his heart for almost four years now. For that reason, he was glad he waited. Four years of friendship, of love, trust, betrayal, forgiveness, acceptance, and of desire, coming to its crescendo. It was beautiful. It was what he wanted – her in his arms. He wanted to hold her tight forever and never let go, and he could hardly believe himself for feeling that way, especially after two marriages! But this was different, this was deeper. Perhaps because he'd waited, or perhaps because of what they'd been through together, or how long they'd known each other. For whatever reason, Castle wanted her; for _always_.

"Morning, Castle." she replied, smiling as she looked up at him. After a short pause, she added, "You're a heavy sleeper! I was half-expecting you to be up, cooking me pancakes!"

"Hey, I can cook you pancakes if you want." he smiled, as he reached across, putting his arm under her head.

Silence fell between them once more, but it was far from awkward. They both lay there, sleepy and satisfied, contented just to be in each others arms and to have their moment together; the perfect morning moment, before another day began and the magic of what they'd shared was forgotten.

The morning began to pass slowly, as minute after minute, eventually an hour passed, and they lay, still in each others arms, both their minds wondering.

Beckett was thinking about that moment, yesterday, as she's been on the ledge, hanging off the edge of the building, slipping, finger by finger. There were tears on her face; she was seconds away from falling to her death. She'd thought about what she'd been through, she thought about Castle, and all they'd been through together, every moment of her life and their relationship that lead her here. As her mind wondered, in one sense you could say her life was flashing before her eyes, and she felt, above all else, regret. She so desperately regretted ignoring Castle's words, never saying 'I love you' back to him, even though she loved him, so desperately, for a long time. She'd been in love with him from the start. At first she hated him, but at the same time, something about him attracted her to him, and that's where the story had begun; when he'd first looked up at her in that interrogation room, the mischievous look in his eye as he taunted her about being a fan. She got very used to having him around quickly, and gradually, she even grew to like him. She'd never have admitted it, but it was there. They were best friends, they were partners, and they were in love. Why had it taken them so long to tell one another that?

He'd waited until she was shot, and lay dying in his arms. She'd waited until now, until it was too late. She was hanging from the ledge, her feet dangling dangerously high above the street below her, and she was terrified. She was afraid to die, as all are when they finally come to it, but more than anything, her one biggest regret, what she feared the most, was dying without ever having told Richard how she felt, never having been with him, everything about how their relationship had gone so far. She'd never told him, she'd never thanked him, and when he confessed his love for her the other night, she'd thrown it back in his face. She'd pushed him away, every time, and now it was over. She was going to die, the man who had killed her mother, who had left her here, to die, had gotten away; she would never catch him, she would never know, she would never get justice. But she didn't care.

There is a saying that a man's true self is revealed when he is faced with death. Now, as she dangled, clinging desperately to the edge with nothing but three fingers, there was only one thing on her mind.

"Castle!" she'd screamed, her desperation clear. Then a whisper, all the pain, all the regret coming out in one word, "Castle..."

As the tears poured down her face, right then, she'd never felt so desperate or so afraid. She was going to die, and her biggest regret in all of this was that she would leave behind Castle, and all that she _could_ have had ...

Now she lay here, next to that very man in bed. After facing death like that, after having such a realisation, how could she _not_ be utterly satisfied with it? When she'd heard a voice calling her name, and had her life rescued, she'd stood up and faced him. Only it wasn't Castle, it was Ryan. She was relieved to be alive, there was no denying, but after that immediate moment of relief, she felt an overwhelming sense of dread and hurt. _It wasn't Castle. He hadn't come._ Perhaps even more terrifying than the thought of having to die with those regrets was _living_ with them. Had she waited too late? Was she going to have to live how she'd nearly died?

So, after all of that pain, all of those emotions, to have finally got rid of those regrets, to fulfill such a desire and be rid of all those fears; it was a feeling so profound it had actually hurt.

"I love you." she whispered as she looked up at him, now lying in his arms.

He looked down, turning his head for better view of her, and gazed into her eyes. "I know." he replied softly. "I love you too, Kate ... _always_."


End file.
